One Star Netflix Reviews

"I thought I was going to see a bunch of nudes but what I got was a dude with a lisp talking about..."

Wed, 22 May 2013 09:46:50 -0700

“I thought I was going to see a bunch of nudes but what I got was a dude with a lisp talking about films.”

- On The Pervert’s Guide To Cinema

"That’s what David Lynch is an over paid “Ed Wood” of our time. One exception of..."

Tue, 21 May 2013 09:47:54 -0700

“That’s what David Lynch is an over paid “Ed Wood” of our time. One exception of brillance though is the “Straight Story””

- On Mulholland Dr.

Here's a good one I found about Save The Date: "Terrible, comedy NOT. Reviews must be at least 80 characters long, can't come up with anything remotely decent to say about this movie except it's slower then my internet speed."

Tue, 21 May 2013 09:42:44 -0700

I prefer “I felt like punching the film makers in the face after watching this.”

"I would have liked it better if there was a little more cabin in the woods and less office party."

Tue, 21 May 2013 08:57:47 -0700

““I would have liked it better if there was a little more cabin in the woods and less office party.””

- On The Cabin In The Woods

"I will not base my choices on what people say about movies anymore."

Mon, 20 May 2013 18:21:45 -0700

“I will not base my choices on what people say about movies anymore.”

- On The Fourth Kind

"I felt like I was being punked, waiting for Ashton Kutcher to pop up at some point in the movie and..."

Mon, 20 May 2013 18:09:51 -0700

“I felt like I was being punked, waiting for Ashton Kutcher to pop up at some point in the movie and say ‘man I cant believe you’ve actually watched the movie for this long.’”

- On The Cabin In The Woods

"Very good explosions"

Sun, 19 May 2013 12:26:40 -0700

“Very good explosions”

- On Come And See

"I am a fan of movies, Art films do not usually put me off but I found myself turning this film off..."

Sun, 19 May 2013 12:08:00 -0700

“I am a fan of movies, Art films do not usually put me off but I found myself turning this film off after giving it a good half hour shot.”

- On Russian Ark

"I guess you have to enjoy gun shooting to enjoy this movie."

Fri, 17 May 2013 13:03:31 -0700

“I guess you have to enjoy gun shooting to enjoy this movie.”

- On The Matrix

"Now I cant even watch the other two,not worth it."

Fri, 17 May 2013 11:40:44 -0700

“Now I cant even watch the other two,not worth it.”

- On Jaws

You should totally come over to my personal blog and say hi, maybe.

Fri, 17 May 2013 11:10:32 -0700

You should totally come over to my personal blog and say hi, maybe.

"And how many cheap ‘cat jumping out at the camera’ scares are allowed in one film?"

Fri, 17 May 2013 10:59:06 -0700

“And how many cheap ‘cat jumping out at the camera’ scares are allowed in one film?”

- On Alien

"I watched the first five minutes, then fast forwarded through the rest (to make sure I wasn’t..."

Thu, 16 May 2013 19:29:37 -0700

“I watched the first five minutes, then fast forwarded through the rest (to make sure I wasn’t missing anything)”

- On Stop Making Sense

"I love art films as much as the next guy, but this is pure torture. There are no characters here, no..."

Thu, 16 May 2013 13:51:07 -0700

“I love art films as much as the next guy, but this is pure torture. There are no characters here, no story.”

- On Werckmeister Harmonies

"There’s no real character development."

Thu, 16 May 2013 13:21:42 -0700

“There’s no real character development.”

- On Beetlejuice

"they kept asking me to fast forward to the ‘actual movie’"

Thu, 16 May 2013 13:05:00 -0700

“they kept asking me to fast forward to the ‘actual movie’”

- On Fantasia

"Im sorry to say, this film does not accurately depict the Gospel according to Matthew."

Wed, 15 May 2013 20:16:10 -0700

“Im sorry to say, this film does not accurately depict the Gospel according to Matthew.”

- On The Gospel According To St. Matthew

"I generally love French cinema, but after a half hour of rantings about a club called “The..."

Wed, 15 May 2013 18:17:37 -0700

“I generally love French cinema, but after a half hour of rantings about a club called “The Rectum,” a bunch of invitations to get fisted, and watching someone beaten to death with a fire hydrant, I still couldn’t find anything resembling a point to this truly awful waste of film.”

- On Irreversible

"I studied literature as an undergrad, so I understand symbolism, but this movie did not have much."

Wed, 15 May 2013 18:07:48 -0700

“I studied literature as an undergrad, so I understand symbolism, but this movie did not have much.”

- On Three Colors: Blue

"I felt as if I were watching a student film."

Wed, 15 May 2013 15:20:50 -0700

“I felt as if I were watching a student film.”

- On A Woman Under The Influence